Ripening

An ode to slow, seasonal growth.

Dear ones,

It’s been almost five years since I first started practicing menstrual cycle awareness and the lessons I am learning continue to deepen. Today, I’m writing from the stillness of inner autumn and I’m realising that this season – the one I once believed to be abrasive – might be the one that makes me feel most achingly alive.

It’s taken me a long time to feel at home here but right now something within me is ripening. Life is rich: rewarding in the simplest of ways. Full to the brim with only the most meaningful things. I’m moving at a slower pace, more attuned to the sensations of my body than ever before and I know in the marrow of my bones that the ebb is as essential as the flow.

Over the course of this time so many other practices have been cast aside and its only now that I can fully understand why none of them lasted. Each one ignited a sense of urgency, a need to push and propel myself forward. They encouraged me to rush towards my own evolution at a pace I couldn’t sustain. What I know now that I wish I had known then is that it is impossible for us not to grow, that to evolve is an inevitability of this existence.

It is my belief that a woman’s body is a microcosm of the macrocosm. The seasons of this earth hold the most profound wisdom and when we devote ourselves to an ongoing dialogue with both our own bodies and the body of the earth that holds us, we begin to alchemise that wisdom into a way of being. Over time we remember what it feels like to belong by becoming nature herself. We root, we rise, we ripen, we rot. Only to begin all over again.

Still, tending to this body of mine is not always easy, as I’m sure you’ll understand only too well. Sometimes it seems as though the whole world is vying for our attention and turning inward to listen is a skill that requires careful cultivation. In a society that seems to instigate a state of perpetual distraction presence is our most precious commodity. It’s easy to feel as though we’re being set up to fail, to wither and wilt in the face of the countless challenges that present themselves instead of seeing them as an opportunity to reach towards our own resilience.

Many of us move through our days afflicted with a recurring amnesia. We have forgotten what it is to feel whole. The knowing that we are erotic beings charged by the current of life itself is in danger of being erased from our sense memory. I’d like you to pause for a moment to consider the last time you felt fully, no, ecstatically alive. Do you remember the exquisite sensation of your every cell thrumming with energy? Which part of your body did this feeling spread from? And what were you doing when it struck? Finally, I’d like you to contemplate how you can align with this current more closely.

For me the answers to these questions are as follows:

Right now, as I type these words to you.

Yes. I feel it in this moment: my body is a living, breathing testament to the beauty of our carnal nature.

This feeling started in my heart: a tender receptivity that spread like a wildfire until my whole being ignited.

Today it struck once I’d stripped back my enquiry enough to expose the truth.

Aligning with this current more closely means making a commitment to soften into my body as often as I possibly can. For me, this feels like setting aside time to indulge in my own sensuality: eating slowly and mindfully, sinking into warm baths laced with fragrant oils, prioritising pleasure in its myriad forms. It feels like not only registering the way my body responds to certain stimuli but fully embracing this precious awareness by adjusting accordingly. It feels like trusting in my ability to self-soothe in times of emotional turbulence and granting myself permission to celebrate wholly when things are unfolding with ease and effortlessness.

Put as plainly as possible, it feels like staying present and empathetic even when I am stuck somewhere between raw and ripe. It feels like having faith in the slow, seasonal growth that has proven its power and significance for almost half a decade.

With Love,

Laura x

Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash